Tuesday 5 March – Day 1 of 720 days of drug taking – only 719 to go! An uneventful day otherwise! It was now exactly one month since the operation but the wound had not fully closed and the new arrival on the top of the finger was getting bigger, turning purple and looking threatening.

Wednesday 6 March – Rehearsal Day – making sure I was well dressed (the hand, not me!) so as not to shock the rest of the band, our guitarist, Andy, picked me up for the drive to South London in the afternoon. He had been forewarned about my incapacity and brought with him a bass guitar in case I couldn’t use my left hand at all. Coincidentally, he had re-strung it a week or so before after keeping the same strings on for 23 years! He was hoping he could still play guitar, banjo and ukulele as he had never really played bass, but was willing to give it a shot … little did either of us realise until we started going through the set list that he would need to play bass for the entire show. The other band members able to attend the rehearsal, Sam and Rodney, were uneasy about looking too closely at the finger, even though it was well covered, but were curious to know exactly how it had happened. After cups of tea and admiring Rodney’s overhauled, polished and shiny ‘new’ sax, with some trepidation we launched into the opening few numbers as Andy found his feet on bass, and before long he soon got into his stride. Meanwhile, I was having to get used to playing right-handed only – an odd sensation after playing two-handed since the age of 8. Any worries that it might not work were dissipated as we ploughed on through the set list – even Rodney thought it actually sounded cleaner (he had always dreamt of having a bass guitar in the band – now his dreams had been fulfilled). The bass also laid down a clearer beat for Sam to latch onto on drums … blimey, we were beginning to sound like a proper band … well, we’ve only been in the business 50 years!

For now, Wakeman, Emerson, Lang Lang and the others can rest easy as I wrestle with my handicap (a true handicap!)… But I’ll be back …!! I must add that I’m disappointed with Ravel for writing his Concerto for Left Hand … where can I find a right hand concerto?

As we drove home – Andy’s fingers a bit more sore than before – MY LEFT HAND had noticeably become more swollen, even though I hadn’t used it for playing. Obviously, the additional exertion  of playing had affected it. I was glad to remove the dressing once home and let it gradually subside during the evening and overnight.

I had been on the drugs for two days now and with no apparent side effects except for the harmless orangey-brown shade of pee, I was beginning to think my luck was in. The next day I was asked to pay a visit to the hospital to collect an introductory letter to take to the Eye Hospital to have a colour vision test. As the clinic was closed that day I had to collect the letter from the Infectious Diseases Ward in the main hospital building. On arrival, my wife and I took the lift to the floor on which the ward was located, pressed the entrance buzzer and we were let in. It was a hive of activity as beds were being wheeled about and lots of staff were busying around. We approached the desk to ask for the letter – one of the nurses said ‘what are they doing in here?’ – and we were hurriedly ushered into a small one-bed-size ward nearby and told to wait there.The letter was brought to us in a couple of minutes and we asked what was happening. They said, they’d just had an outbreak of NOROVIRUS on the ward and were closing it to visitors as they defumigated the entire area. Well, we hadn’t touched anything or anybody, except the letter, but we shot out of there quicker than you could say ‘Shostakovitch’. 

Then it was over to the Eye Hospital to book a colour vision test  – apparently one of the drugs can effect vision … it is normally only temporary whilst on the drugs … soon everything might be in black and white. We weren’t kept waiting long before the nurse behind the desk took me to a small room where I was asked to read the usual optician’s chart of letters reducing in size – I had no problem as I was still wearing my specs! Then I was asked to look at pages of a special book which contained weird designs in different colours with a number in the centre. Again, I had no problem saying what each number was. I was given the letter back with my vision results entered on the reverse … I had gained full marks!

That evening was spent with the loo in close proximity as I ‘loosened up’. Except for this inconvenience (!), I otherwise felt as well as usual. The next day, Friday, with the weekend coming up and not being able to see a doctor, I phoned the helpline number on the card which I had found in my packet of drugs to ask if this was just a passing phase in the early days  on the drugs … I was told a doctor would phone back later that day. At just before 20.00 a specialist from I.F. phoned to apologise for keeping me waiting so long but she had been tied up in clinic all day. I was amazed anyone had rung so late after office hours – another demonstration of the caring NHS. After I had relayed my inconvenient problem, she quickly came to the conclusion I had contracted the NOROVIRUS bug when visiting the ward! AAH!! I said I was only in there a few minutes and didn’t touch anything, but she said that is all it takes, but if it gets worse to come straight into A&E where she was on duty throughout the weekend. These doctors do work hard. After a couple of days, although remaining ‘loose’, my ‘habits’ returned to normal  …

we don’t wish to know that … change the subject!

Ah yes, but remember I’m writing this blog to warn others of what they will have to go through if they don’t take more care maintaining their fish ponds and tanks.

This time, instead of a photo of an unpleasant looking hand, here is a picture of our very pleasant looking garden! Notice in the foreground my favourite flowers – lupins – look a bit like fingers!

Next: Naming and Shaming the infection