Since the start of this whole hand saga in January, one thing on my mind was how was I going to cope on a forthcoming band mini-tour of Yorkshire towards the end of March. It seemed such a long way off that all would be fine, but as the date grew closer it became evident that it wasn’t going to be plain sailing. At least the band had had a rehearsal and we were prepared as best we could be for a right hand only piano player by the guitarist, Andy, swapping guitar for bass guitar, thus replacing my defunct left hand. Andy’s other role as my driver was the only way I was going to get from venue to venue and hotel to hotel.

Friday 22 March – the day came to set off – I was up early to have the hand dressed by my wife – I watched carefully as I would have to do it on my own whilst away. With all dressings and equipment packed we set off at 08.30 to allow extra time for traffic problems especially around London and the M25, and heavy snowfall which had recently returned to the north. We need not have worried – with just one en route coffee stop on the M1 we were in Selby, North Yorkshire by 14.30 and checking into the hotel.

The show that evening was the first for a one-handed pianist and a bass player and, all in all, we pulled it off. There were plenty of opportunities for the other guys to have some fun with the ‘one hand’ routine and the new sound was surprisingly good. Of course, there were a few mishaps here and there but we made the most of them and the packed venue joined in the fun! “Anybody know a good second hand shop in Selby?” … etc, etc. It was after the show back at the hotel that I was aware the dressings were wet and hanging off as the hand had become swollen and had leaked. But by the morning the hand had returned to as near normal as could be expected. One of our crew offered to cut up my cooked breakfast for me as he was used to doing it for his wife who had recently broken her wrist, to which I readily agreed. I managed to dress the hand on my own and, following a visit to Selby Abbey, we drove to Leeds to play another great show to an excellent audience of fans of all ages. They were very much on form and readily joined in with the daftness. One young man was celebrating his 18th birthday with his parents who were all big Bonzo fans, so, having embarrassed him as best we could, we gave him a special signed Birthday Certificate and posed for photos, as well as signing merchandise for more of our fans (quite tricky being left-handed!). On the way to the venue we had checked into out next hotel near Wakefield only to find there was no running water! The receptionist assured us it would be fixed by the time we returned later in the evening. Apparently, the recent freezing weather and snowfall – it was quite deep in places where it had not been cleared – had affected the water supply.

Playing a second show within 24 hours had not been great for the hand, and it appeared even more swollen than at the end of the previous evening. Again, the dressings were hanging off and I was only too glad to get back to the hotel and remove them, and relax the hand. The ‘no water’ problem had been fixed in such a way that there was now a miniscule trickle from the basin taps, hopeless if you wanted a shower or bath – it would take forever to fill up. So, the next morning, a rather grubby band crossed the snowy, slippery carpark to the restaurant for breakfast. I had decided to leave the hand exposed for the day, trying to remember to keep it out of sight of the others whilst eating, so as not to put them off!

It was a two-hour drive to our next venue on our mini-tour as we set off south for Boston. Snowy scenes on either side of the road eventually petered out as we headed into Lincolnshire and straight to the hotel for relaxation (and Formula 1 on TV) for a couple of hours before setting off for the venue. There may not have been as much snow laying on the ground but it was incredibly cold out here on the east coast as freezing easterly winds from Scandinavia chilled us to the bone as we hung about waiting for the venue to open – we retired to our vehicles to wait, and wondered how many would turn out to see the band in such bitter weather. Eventually, the doors were opened and our ever-helpful crew soon had us and our equipment unloaded onto the stage. Not only had we lost a bit of time waiting for the venue to open, but curtain up was half an hour earlier than usual too, it being a Sunday. No provision had been given for a pre-show light meal so after a very hurried soundcheck some of us went out in search of a restaurant – luckily, there was a Thai restaurant on the next corner and the owner agreed to prepare us a meal speedily so we could get back to the theatre in good time before the show.

Back in the dressing room I applied my dressings for the evening – both sides of the finger had been weeping on and off throughout the day so it was good to get it covered over. Once more, with my arm in a sling, not only to prevent me from using the hand but also for visual effect, we marched into the auditorium to a much smaller audience than we had been accustomed to (a combination of poor promotion and bad weather). Nonetheless, they were very keen to join in and enjoy themselves and were not inhibited by a lack of numbers, though I learned later that someone had complained to the management that the pianist had only used one hand for the entire show! You can’t win them all. With a swollen hand that had not been used, we returned to the hotel and enjoyed a nightcap of fruit tea, wine and snacks in the lobby before retiring to bed. It was an earlier than usual start the next day as we were driving back home to the south coast.

It was a relief to know I could cope with playing with just the right hand and the band could perform and entertain as normal with a bass guitar instead of guitar. It was never going to be totally relaxing for both of us but as we do more shows it should become easier. Nobody really knows how long we will continue in this format – hopefully, it is only a temporary arrangement for a few more weeks.

Meanwhile, here is a 90 sec movie of my hand in all it’s g(l)ory – although it is in soft focus it’s not for the faint-hearted. BE WARNED! I tried for ages to load it directly into WordPress but none of the file types I could access were acceptable, so here is a link to YouTube:

NEXT – MAGNETIC RESONANCE IMAGING